Balance & Beyond Podcast

Overwhelm isn't just a fleeting feeling anymore - it's become the air we breathe.

In this candid conversation, Sabina and Jo explore why we're all feeling caught in this collective chaos and how our desperate attempts to maintain control are actually making everything worse. The world is undeniably chaotic right now. Between geopolitical tensions, economic uncertainty, workplace demands, and the rapid integration of AI into our lives, it's no wonder we're all feeling stretched beyond our capacity.

But rather than acknowledging our limitations, many of us respond by gripping tighter to whatever we can control—often micromanaging our families, perfecting insignificant details, and taking on more responsibilities, despite being overwhelmed already.

Sabina shares the powerful metaphor of the "runaway train" of busyness that gains such momentum, we forget how to apply the brakes. Meanwhile, our bodies send urgent signals through racing thoughts at bedtime, middle-of-the-night email checking, and physical restlessness. The counterintuitive truth is that slowing down isn't just nice—it's necessary for our survival and success.

The most liberating realization? You have permission to say no, to disappoint others occasionally, and to focus on what truly matters. Instead of spreading yourself thin across countless obligations, try this simple exercise: identify one thing to focus on wholeheartedly, one thing to drop completely, and one thing to do for your body or spirit that brings joy. Remember—your worth isn't measured by how busy you are.

Take our burnout archetype quiz to discover the patterns driving your particular brand of busyness and receive practical micro-dose strategies to reclaim your power, peace and presence. https://www.balanceinstitute.com/burnout-quiz 

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

Jo (Host) 

Everyone's busy, but lately it seems to have tipped into something else — a kind of collective chaos, where overwhelm is the new oxygen and we're all slowly suffocating. I'm joined by Sabina today. Sabina, what's really going on? What's behind this feeling of busy?

Sabina (Guest) 

Great question — big question! Where do I even start with all the things, right? I think it’s pretty much collectively agreed that the times we're living in are wild. That doesn’t mean we have to lose our center, but there’s a lot going on — geopolitical tensions, elections in Australia and around the world, constant talk about the economy — and the overall pace of life has really ramped up in 2025.

In workplaces, resources are tighter than ever. The screws are being turned, and people are expected to do more with less. And then there's that little thing called AI — just a little thing! It's both a blessing and a curse, let’s face it. On one hand, it’s super exciting, even a bit sexy in terms of what’s possible. But on the other hand, it can feel overwhelming and relentless.

I think now more than ever, we need to consciously build in moments to zoom out, take a breath, and step back — to counter the crazy, to interrupt the busy. And ironically, it’s in the moments when we feel like we can’t take a breath that it becomes most important to do exactly that. Right, Jo?

Jo (Host) 

Absolutely. And there are some really common themes we see again and again in our world — and honestly, all three of us on the team can relate, because we’ve fallen into these traps too. We’re human, after all. One of the big ones? Those mistaken stories we tell ourselves: “Oh, it’s just a season. Once I get through [insert chaos here], then I’ll take care of myself. Then I’ll catch up with that friend. Then I’ll go for that walk or coffee.”

And meanwhile… six months pass, and you still haven’t done the thing. You still haven’t caught up with that friend. It’s like pressing pause on life, over and over — waiting for a moment that never really arrives.

So we end up believing, mistakenly, that we can control the busy, that busy is inherently bad, and there's a problem with the way that we're living our lives. Instead of saying, how do I find space for myself in this life? And that's going to involve letting go of one particular c-word, Sabina, that we see so many women desperate to maintain, particularly in busy times, in uncertain times. What's that c-word, Sabina? Control. Oh, control everything. Hold on really tight, no matter if it’s gonna happen this way and this way and this way and this way, this way. Yeah, and of course, that makes sense.

Sabina (Guest) 

When we are feeling more and more out of control, or that external forces are, um, you know, really influencing our world, the less and less in control we feel. And so we have this counterforce and desire to grip on tighter, because no one wants to feel powerless, no one wants to feel helpless. And so we look around, clutching, sometimes desperately, at all the things that we can control, and, yeah, it makes sense.

And where are you basically expending really valuable energy on things that you can't control anyway? And in doing so, you're just becoming so busy and, frankly, exhausted, and it's somewhat futile. Really, it is somewhat futile. And again, this is a pattern we see a lot: the more stressed we are, the more we try to control. And sometimes, you know, we see it playing out at home—people with their partners becoming a little bit, maybe, naggy or micromanaging the children.

And we were talking about this earlier, weren’t we, in one of our mentorship programs? The people that we share our homes with are often very good at giving us feedback when we're being overcontrolling, and that is often a clue and a cue to stop, reassess, and go, “Okay, what am I actually trying to achieve with all this overcontrol? What is actually going on beneath the surface?”

Jo (Host)

And there’s also, with that controlling, it almost tips us into over-functioning because we want to control everything. So our perfectionist ramps up, we end up beating ourselves up more, which actually just makes us more exhausted, and so we lean more into the busy—but we’re even more depleted, so we end up making mistakes or becoming more emotional.

I had a mum I was speaking to at a school event recently, and she ended up bursting into tears next to me. I said, “Oh, what’s going wrong?” She said, “So-and-so is wearing the wrong colored shirt today because the right one was still dirty.” I said, “Does it—what, what, what?”

She was an absolute puddle because she sent her kid to school in the wrong colored shirt, and in her mind, that was yet again more evidence that she was failing—because something else came up and she didn’t have time to do the washing, so she was just holding everything together.

And I looked at her and I said, “Do you think it really matters?” I said, “You’re still a great mom.” She just turned into more of a puddle and then pulled herself together and went, “You know what? Actually, maybe it doesn’t.” I said, “I think you might be better off letting that one go. Your kid’s going to be okay, and you’re going to be okay.” I said, “How about you go home tonight? Just go to bed early—don’t stay up till 10 o’clock frantically doing whatever thing you think you have to do to stop being a failure.”

Sabina (Guest)

Yeah, it’s this concept that we talk about quite a lot, which is having too many tabs open. So when we feel out of control or there’s a lot of instability or insecurity— you know, job insecurity— it’s a thing. It’s a thing, and of course you’re going to be affected.

But when you have so many tabs open in your brain and you feel like you need to control X, Y, Z, A, B, C, 1, 2, 52, or 11 billion things, of course you’re not going to be doing any of them justice, and of course things are going to be slipping through the net. Give yourself some grace. Of course, it’s too much. And so, again, that’s a clue: how can I simplify? How can I slow down?

It doesn’t mean you have to let go of ambition. It doesn’t mean you have to let go of wanting the best for your children. It doesn’t mean you have to let go of setting your sights on your career aspirations. What it does mean is that you need to be more curated with your thoughts, with your actions, and where you are trying to make an impact, because when you are spreading yourself too thin—because you’re feeling out of control—that is a surefire way to not do anything properly.

Jo (Host) 

And Sabina, we often talk about how as we start to get out of control and we lean into control and we lean into the busy, it’s almost like our nervous system starts to get fried. What are some of the symptoms that show someone’s there?

I mean, most people probably know, “Oh yes, I’m a bit fried,” but is there anything you can share about how our nervous system works and what happens when it’s in overdrive? Hoping that a little bit of this—whether you want to call it neuroscience or factual understanding—can help people see that, you know what, it’s not that I’m broken or I’m failing, I’m just working often beyond the capacity of what I might have.

Sabina (Guest) 

Yeah. So our nervous systems—and really our bodies—are a beautiful barometer to let us know how we’re tracking. So instead of sometimes making our bodies the enemy or our emotions the enemy—going, “Why? Why don’t I have the energy? Why is my body failing me? Why can’t I run like I used to pre-babies? Why is my body shape changing?”—that’s actually an opportunity to stop and ask, “What messages is my body telling me? What is my nervous system telling me?”

It’s a little bit like when we get so caught up in the busy and trying to be perfect. It’s like a runaway train. It almost gathers speed that is out of control, and you don’t know how to put the—um—the brakes on. You don’t know how to slow down because you’ve been operating at that speed for so long, so hard, and so fast that, A, you don’t know where the brakes are, and B, you’re worried, “What’s going to happen if I do actually brake and slow down? Will I ever be able to start up again?”

Jo (Host) 

You’re in good company.

Sabina (Guest) 

You like my analogies, don’t you? Jo, I’m sure listeners are going, “What is she talking about today?” It’s like this runaway train with all the carriages, and you’re carrying coal, and then you stop at another station briefly going, “Hurry up! Hurry up! Load on another carriage!” And then you’re off again.

And we have to. We are human beings. We have to learn to listen to our bodies and our nervous systems, because if we don’t, you know, then there are hormone issues, our endocrine systems start being upset, or we get joint problems—whatever it is. We can run for so long on high cortisol and high stress until suddenly we can’t anymore. And we’re very passionate, aren’t we, about prevention being better than cure? That’s why we do what we do here at The Balance Institute.

But your nervous system is often a barometer of how quickly you’re able to regulate yourself. So there’s this perception that you’re supposed to be Zen and calm, like an earth mother and a super cool cucumber leader. That’s rubbish. Let’s just throw that out the window. Your nervous system is designed to go into certain modes but then to be able to come back and regulate. So there’s no perfect.

But if you’re finding that you’re rushing, rushing, rushing, and then when you sit down you can’t actually sit down—you’ve got ants in your pants—or you can’t lie down, and when you go to lie down to sleep, you’ve got racing thoughts or you’re waking up at two or three or four in the morning and then thinking, “You know what? I just feel like going for a quick 5k run.” 

Jo (Host) 

Or “Doing tomorrow’s presentation."

Sabina (Guest) 

Yeah, I mean, I have some time.

Jo (Host) 

I’m awake now, so I may as well use the time and get a start on tomorrow.

Sabina (Guest) 

That’s it. I have some clients who say that they get up and check their emails at three o’clock in the morning because they can’t sleep. That is a really obvious sign that your poor nervous system really needs some nourishing support. So, it can feel physically counterintuitive to slow down, but our bodies are always giving us feedback about what they need, and we need to learn to tune in and listen to that again.

Jo (Host) 

And that tuning in is something that, when you are stuck in a high cortisol, busy train on full blast because you have to get wherever you think it is that you're going, it’s like no time for noise, no time for feelings, no time for the bathroom. What hydration? I'll do that later. I'll just have wine. I know that's going to help my system. So we just fly forward.

But you mentioned this word counterintuitive, and I know it took me a really, really long time to learn. We've heard for years slowing down to speed up, but our bodies, our brains, like no, don’t stop, don’t stop. We have to learn to put aside those voices, don’t we? It’s almost like that’s the train going keep going, keep going. But the rest of you is like I need to stop, because if you don’t stop, eventually your body will just give up on you.

Sabina (Guest) 

Yeah, it is, and so that—yeah, there’s this phrase, “slow down to speed up,” which just becomes lip service. But I think until you've experienced burnout yourself, which you and I both have, sometimes it doesn’t make sense. When you are incapacitated—whether mentally, physically, or emotionally—you realize that you can only take small steps.

And if you try to hurry yourself through a collapse, whether you realize you’ve collapsed or not, it’s not sustainable, and you’re going to go ten steps further backwards. So it is much better to take preventative measures early, when you can feel yourself like this runaway train, and start slowing down and zeroing in on what are my priorities, what are the really important levers and knobs that I need to turn in my life, and what is all the extraneous crap that I just don’t need to deal with right now, because it’s not life and death. But if I don’t slow down right now, honestly it may be a life or death situation. Heart attacks don’t happen now; it may happen in five years’ time or ten years’ time.

Jo (Host) 

Another way that we break our own boundaries without realizing it is we over-explain. So this is part of the mental gymnastics, isn’t it? We say no, but instead of saying no and just owning it, what does over-explaining look like?

Yeah, and you have to accept that as part of this process. You will let people down, and that’s okay when you are in the process of unraveling or, you know, saying no to the busy. I actually had some parents recently message me from our school and say, “Jo, I haven’t seen your name on this. There’s a whole stack of volunteer stuff happening. You didn’t bake for the bake sale.”

I just went, "No, sorry, I would have loved to, but I’ve got a lot on right now and that was something that was optional." I didn’t feel guilty at all. I slept very well that night. I had multiple text messages: “Oh, your name’s not on this list. You’re not on the committee.” No, I’m not, because right now I don’t need to be. So I’m not making that mean anything about me. I’m not making that mean that I’m a failed parent; I’m just being very, very discerning about where I’m putting my energy, and that is one place that is not required.

So, part of this journey of letting go of control is that when you are able to say no to more things, you don’t actually need to control as much because you’re not just adding more and more and more things to your plate and then wondering why you can’t hold it all. So this is a lesson that most women have to learn the hard way, don’t they, Sabina? It’s like we take on too much and then don’t realize that we actually have the choice to put some of those things down.

Sabina (Guest) 

Yeah, you know, a question you might ask yourself, if you’re listening, is: How can I do fewer things better? And I notice I didn’t say perfectly, but how can I do fewer things better and also take care of my body and perhaps my relationships at the same time?

Jo (Host) 

Because they’re always within your control, right? Your body and your relationships are not subject to geopolitical movements, election cycles, Bitcoin or gold prices. Like, you know—how much you drink, how much you eat, how much you sleep, how you nourish your nervous system—are all fundamentally within your control. It’s about putting the busy down, letting go of all the stuff that, if you let it in, would have you rocking in the corner. You’ve got to learn to tune that out.

Sabina (Guest) 

Yeah, absolutely. So, you know what? Another thing you could take away from this episode is: what is one thing you want to focus on, giving more of your attention to? Do that. Go all in and do it in a fulfilling way. Then ask yourself, what is one thing you can drop? And what’s perhaps one thing you can do for your body or your spirit to counter all the crazy? Do you need to send a message to a girlfriend and organize a girls’ night out to have a giggle? Just have a giggle—or maybe weep into some tea. Whatever it is, you know.

Jo (Host) 

Sabina (Guest) 

Jo (Host) 

Absolutely. Yes, it’s busy, but there’s more control in the busy than we often realize. So if you find yourself caught in that cycle of doing—if you’re stuck in the busy, going around in circles—Sabina shared a great tip for you. I’d love for you to take that and actually do something with it. Say no to something if you have to.

Also, make sure you take our burnout archetype quiz to uncover the pattern driving your pace. You’ll get practical tips—usually micro doses that take less than three minutes—because that’s often all the time we have. These small shifts can make a huge difference between feeling stuck and feeling back in your power, your peace, and fully present in your life.

So, thanks for joining me, Sabina.

Sabina (Guest) 

Thanks Jo!

OUTRO: Thank you for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leaving us a review on your podcast platform of choice would mean the world. If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, visit us at www.balanceinstitute.com to discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women avoid burnout and create a life of balance, and beyond. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast.