Balance & Beyond Podcast

Episode Summary

#103: Your Body's Not a Machine: The High-Achiever's Blind Spot

Your body has been whispering all day, but have you been too busy to listen?

For ambitious women pursuing big goals, there's a tendency to live exclusively from the neck up—treating our bodies as mere vehicles for our brilliant minds while we conquer the world.

This disembodied approach works, until it doesn't. Achievement comes, but satisfaction remains fleeting. Success looks impressive from the outside, but feels increasingly hollow on the inside. The irony? The very bodily wisdom we're ignoring holds the key to deeper fulfillment and sustainable success.

What if your body could be more than an annoying limitation? What if it could actually amplify your vision? When we partner with our physical intelligence rather than overriding it, we access pathways to joy, intuition, and creativity that the cognitive mind alone cannot reach. For high-performers accustomed to pushing through discomfort, this requires a profound mindset shift—recognizing that embodiment doesn't diminish your drive but enhances it.

Simple practices can begin this reconnection. Extended exhale breathing regulates your nervous system, creating the conditions for clearer thinking and emotional resilience. Physical touch, like placing a hand on your heart, communicates safety to your fascia network (which stores stress memories just beneath your skin). These aren't just feel-good techniques; they're practical tools for enhancing decision-making, creativity, and preventing the burnout that threatens your biggest ambitions.

Ready to stop treating your body as an afterthought? Discover the untapped power that exists beyond your brain. Visit balanceinstitutecom to explore our toolkit that has helped thousands of women create lives of genuine balance and lasting fulfillment.

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Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

Jo (Host) 

If you only realize your back hurts when you lie down at night, this episode is for you, because your body's been whispering all day — you've just been too busy to listen.

Jaclyn (Guest)

So much. A disembodied life, quite literally, right? Outside, living just from, like you said, the neck up — not actually inhabiting their bodies.

So what does this all mean and why is it important?

Well, obviously the women who come here value big lives. Like, they're up to big things, right? Big things, whether it's, you know, making a big impact with their field, making a lot of money, being amazing mums, wives — like, powerful women come to us, right? So they're up to something.

And the tendency for high performers is to treat their bodies as like a machine, or kind of this, like, robotic relationship — because unless you have health issues, you can get away with that, right? Anyone who has health issues then probably has a different relationship with their body, because they must, right?

So we're assuming that maybe health issues aren't so much of a thing — or maybe they are, and you're just ignoring it.

Like you said, maybe your back is hurting.

Jo (Host) 

Or thinking you have to live with it.

Jaclyn (Guest) 

But you don't feel that until at night because you're treating your body like a machine. So, I can't be bothered to pay attention to the ache here or the weird fatigue I'm noticing. Like, I'm noticing, but it's too annoying to put my attention on those annoying symptoms. It's annoying — my body is annoying. It's a nuisance. It's not functioning as high as I'm functioning in my mind with my, like, go-getter, high-achievement, like I'm-going-to-go-conquer-the-world attitude. But it's so disenfranchised from your whole being. I think first it's more of a mindset shift ...

Jo (Host) 

Yeah, I think we put so much value on our intelligence, on our mental faculties, and, for many of us, it's our brains that have got us all of our success. We're not people who make things with our hands or who, you know, build things brick by brick.

For many of us, our brain is everything. And instead of thinking that, "Well, this body is just the thing that carries around the brain." We don't really understand the full power of the ecosystem our brain needs to function at its best.

But also, what the hell's the point? I can have intelligence, I can have capability, I can have success. But if I'm numb, if I'm hollow, then it's not going to make any of it worth it in the first place.

Jaclyn (Guest) 

Yeah, yeah. So I think the women tuning into this are already feeling that tug—like there’s this tendency to, you know, have that high achievement, that passion, that drive to achieve and achieve. But at a certain point, it starts to feel hollow. Like, what is all this for? Am I just an amazing brain on legs? Which is cool—and it’s gotten me here—and I do kind of love that about myself. Like, nothing wrong with it. It’s cool! We celebrate that!

But there is a question women are coming to us with—like, "Is there more than this?" Because this is great, but maybe... maybe there's more. Like fulfillment. Maybe there's more peace, maybe there's more wholeness, satisfaction.

The tendency with women coming in with lots of high-achiever drive is that satisfaction is really fleeting. And the body is a big part of experiencing satisfaction. I think maybe people need to hear that again: the body is a big part of experiencing satisfaction—because the brain won't ever really be satisfied, right? That's not its design. Its design is: what’s possible? what am I going to create now? what’s next?

So—great. But when do you ever get to feel truly fulfilled, satisfied, at peace—more than just for a fleeting moment before the next thing?

There might be a question you're asking yourself. So—the body is where you're going to find that. And it's not going to take you away from your brain and all the amazing things it's up to. It's actually going to amplify it. It's a partnership.

And I mean that metaphorically, but also literally. The brain maps with your whole nervous system, right? The brain moves down through the spinal cord, and then the spinal cord speaks to every single system in your body. They're completely interwoven. We just forget that they are.

So if you can start paying attention to your body's needs. So, just to start : am I tending to my body's nourishment?
Am I feeding it?
Do I let it go to the toilet when it needs to? Is it resting? And is it exercising in ways that aren’t depleting it?

Because there’s a real tendency with high-achiever women—to blow out their adrenals running marathons, and their exercise regimen, alongside whatever other marathons they're metaphorically running in life. I’m not saying don’t do that.

I’m saying: Are you equally—if not more—spending time on restorative work, movement in your body? Spending time with recalibrating your nervous system and what amazingness that, then the performance of your body, or your legacy, or whatever it is that you're up to in the world.

Jo (Host)

Yeah, this has been a really big part of my journey. And, as Jaclyn said, part of the reason I blew up my life was because it felt very hollow. I kept asking myself: What the hell is the point?

And satisfaction was very fleeting. I would achieve something—and literally I would, as I was achieving it, I was already like: "Well, you don’t want to get complacent. Next!"
"Now you’ve got to up it!"

So there was very little enjoyment. And what I now know is that it wasn’t embodied enjoyment. It was mental enjoyment.

And, as you said, our brain goes: "Got it. Next!" But you, don't put that in the front seat. You turn around and go, "Yep, you've said "Next!" But right now, I’m going to stop and smell the roses. I’m going to actually sit in this joy, and excitement, and satisfaction, and praise for myself, and pride."

And that takes work. That’s a muscle that you have to learn to build. And I was very head-focused, incredibly head-focused, completely numb, didn’t even realise that I might’ve had an autoimmune disease until I found myself in hospital. Because that’s what everybody does. But I just assumed ...

Jaclyn(Guest)

There's almost an identity and a pride around it, too. Not to interrupt you, but there’s almost like, "How much can I handle? Like, "Look how much I can do!" 

Jo (Host) 

Yeah, yeah! But that’s part of the identity of “I’m the superwoman.” "I push through pain." And this is very much that high achiever, sort of masculine paradigm — almost like the David Goggins, like "You can do it!" "Pain is part of the process!" You know, "You just got to push through and you just got to work harder!"

So that’s why you do hardcore workouts, and you do them, because that is the model of success that we’ve been shown. Instead of recognizing, "Okay, that’s one way to get in your body: to feel intense pain, and to sweat, and to grind, and to push.

But there comes a point when that just makes you even more exhausted, and it just feels so wrong. It doesn’t feel nourishing enough.

Jaclyn (Guest) 

It’s actually just more mental conditioning.

Jo (Host) 

Yeah, yeah! But what I had to learn was, what if instead of treating this body like a thing that carries my brain around, what if it’s got wisdom? What if it’s got intelligence? And what if it could make my brain better?

That was what hooked me — like, "Oh, you mean I’ve actually been living life with one hand behind my back?" "Oh, well, now I’m interested." "You mean I can make faster decisions?" "Okay, well, talk to me about that." "You mean I can experience more joy and have that come easier without so much effort?" "Okay, I’m listening." And that was a lot of my journey — to have to understand, for me, what is the neuroscience behind things like the vagal nerve and the different systems in the body?

I tend to go in through neuroscience, or science, or facts. That’s the way my brain can then accept, “Okay, there’s a return. There's a return on investment for me actually paying attention to this thing called the body." Not to mention, I don’t know, peace and contentment and all these things that you can’t put a price on.

But, that is usually the way most women need to come at this. Either it’s from a state of total collapse, where their body has just screamed and they’re horizontal, l and they’re like, “Oh dear, my body is completely broken down.” "It’s now too late." I now need to go on this very often painful and long repair, and restorative journey to almost rebuild trust.

But there are others who are just pushing, but it’s more the emptiness that feels like it’s getting bigger, and threatens to swallow them up. It’s not physical yet.

Jaclyn (Guest) 

Yeah, yeah. And we experience joy in our bodies. It's not in our heads. Like, think about that, right? Anything that was ever joyful. Like, it's a full-body laughter, or the warmth that radiates throughout your whole body when you feel love, or pride, or whatever, you know? Like, anything—it’s a bodily experience. So it’s just so funny we forget that, right?

Jo (Host) 

It’s not being modeled to us, though! It’s not being modeled, particularly in the corporate world. Feelings are things that get in the way. Often, as a woman, you’re worried about being pegged as "too emotional", or too soft, or too nurturing because then you fall into those stereotypes.

Jaclyn(Guest)

Fuck the patriarchy!

Jo (Host) 

Yeah, patriarchy. So, we over-index the other way. So, Jaclyn, if someone’s listening to this and thinking, “Oh my gosh, I had back pain and didn’t realize it,” or “I suddenly looked up from my computer and realized I hadn’t eaten all day because I completely overrode any of my body signals,” where do they begin? How do you even start this journey of reconnecting and feeling more whole?

Jaclyn (Guest) 

Well, it starts with the decision to do that, right? So, perhaps if you’re listening, you already feel like, "Okay, I am making that decision — just tell me what to do." Okay, great! So first, congratulations on making that decision. And then there are a couple of simple tools, like your breath. It’s always there. It’s talked about ad nauseam as a way to experience more calm, joy, et cetera.

But you can literally just breathe in for four counts, exhale for eight counts. If you were just going to do one breath work exercise, that’s the one I would suggest. When you have an extended exhale, that will downregulate your nervous system. So it’s a big bang for your buck there.

So if you want to feel more confident, secure, grounded at the workplace, or if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed or overheated — literally or metaphorically — then you can use that extended exhale to cool yourself down and slow down that nervous system.

So then you can actually respond to whatever’s at home, or in the boardroom, respond really in a way that feels most true to who you are. So, start with your breath. You can also bring touch to your body. So like, a hand on your heart. When you put your hand on your heart, you’re touching your fascia. I’ve been deep diving into fascia recently.

If you don’t know what fascia is, it’s the web that encases our blood vessels, tissues, and bones. It’s this web right below your skin, and the fascia network actually holds all these impulses of the nervous system and stores chemical memories of stress.

The simple act of touch is connecting with the fascia, because it’s so close to the top of the skin, right? So, when you do that, it immediately sends a signal to your body that you’re safe, that you're supported, that you're seen.

And I think most of us are craving to feel more safe, supported, and seen in our daily lives—whether it’s showing up at work, “Am I safe here? Am I seen here? Am I supported here?” And if you’re not feeling that in your workplace, start with yourself. Are you seeing yourself? Are you supporting yourself? Are you safe with yourself?

And putting your hand on your heart starts to reprogram that possibility. It seems so simple—almost too good to be true that it’s that simple. Like, literally, let your hand talk to your fascia, like, “I’m here.” We all know the importance of touch with children, so why do we deny that to ourselves as adults?

Jo (Host) 

I guess the challenge for so many women is that these solutions feel almost too simple. Everyone’s heard about breathwork, but hardly anyone actually does it. Everyone knows about the importance of touch, especially with children, but they don’t do it. So what’s the real objection here?

Are we searching for solutions that feel bigger, more grandiose—something that seems more worthy of our time and effort? Or is it that we don’t fully acknowledge the power of these micro-movements, these small acts that actually make a big difference? Or maybe, deep down, we’re just not ready or willing to take that first step.

What do you think is really at play here?

Jaclyn (Guest) 

I think when you slow down, there’s this underlying fear of what they’re going to feel when they do. It’s often unconscious, but it’s real. I don’t think it’s just about the simplicity of the practice. In fact, many women crave simplicity because life is so complex and overwhelming. So it’s not that they reject simple solutions outright—sometimes they might doubt them, thinking, “If it’s that simple, it can't be that good.”

But I think the deeper reason is this: slowing down means tuning into feelings we’ve been avoiding. Putting your hand on your heart isn’t just a nice gesture—it can unlock a flood of emotions. It can mean facing stress, exhaustion, sadness, or even physical symptoms that we’ve been ignoring or pushing aside. That vulnerability can feel really scary. What if I start crying? What if I have to confront how burnt out or unwell I really am?

So, the resistance isn’t really to the tools—it’s to feeling those raw, sometimes uncomfortable emotions that come with real self-awareness.

Jo (Host) 

So, your challenge today is to stop treating your body like an afterthought. Take a moment to breathe deeply, place your hand on your heart, and really listen. You’ll be amazed at what becomes possible when you partnering with your body—not just your brain.

Thanks for joining me today, Jaclyn.

Jaclyn (Guest) 

Mm-hm!

OUTRO: Thank you for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. And if you're feeling extra generous, leaving us a review on your podcast platform of choice would mean the world. If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, visit us at www.balanceinstitute.com to discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women avoid burnout and create a life of balance, and beyond. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast.