Balance & Beyond Podcast

December isn't the villain. It's the spotlight.

When the concerts, deadlines, and family dynamics collide, our survival wiring takes over—over-responsibility, overthinking, and over-functioning. We walk through how these patterns quietly run the show all year and hit peak volume now, why a holiday rarely fixes the underlying exhaustion, and how to plug energy leaks without relying on brittle willpower or time blocking that doesn’t stick.

We share a practical, body-first approach to recalibrating boundaries by helping your nervous system trust rest. You’ll learn to spot your dominant December pattern in real time, use a single interrupting question to stop the spiral, and choose priorities that reflect what actually matters. Expect honest insights, simple language, and tools that work in the messy middle of end‑of‑year life—school events, shifting workloads, and big feelings included.

We’re also inviting you to a live 90‑minute boundary recalibration on Zoom designed to help you finish the year without losing your spark. We’ll explore why rest feels unsafe, how to plug the leaks from the inside out, and how to create a holiday season that restores rather than depletes. It’s just $27, replay included. Save your seat at balanceinstitute.com/SOS.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs a gentler December, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes, and leave a quick review to help more women find these tools. Your energy matters—and you get to decide where it goes.

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for ambitious women who refuse to accept burnout as the price of success. Here, we’re committed to empowering you with the tools and strategies you need to achieve true balance, where your career, relationships and health all thrive, and where you have the power to define success on your own terms. I honour the space you’ve created for yourself today, so take a breath, and let's dive right in…

Jo Stone (Host)

You know that moment in December when everyone's basking in the magic you created, but you're too depleted to feel any of it? Smiling your way through school concerts, deadlines, Christmas parties, but somewhere inside you are whispering, just get me to the damn holidays.

Here's the truth: December doesn't create burnout, it exposes it. Every invisible rule you've lived by all year, and particular patterns such as over-responsibility, overthinking, and overfunctioning, hit peak volume in December. This time of year, I see the same patterns happen on repeat, but this year it feels worse. It's like we're expecting ourselves to operate at this new speed we're seeing of AI and get frustrated when we have to deal with real humans who are nowhere near as obliging or complimentary, but maybe that's just my version of chat.

Our nervous systems are wired for survival. So when December piles on more decisions, more emotions, more expectations, more exhaustion, that survival wiring kicks in like muscle memory. We start holding it all together again - or attempt - because that's what we think competent women do. But there's a pretty good chance cracks are starting to show.

Let's talk about this survival wiring, because there are three particular patterns of survival wiring that I see really ramp up in December. And these operate at multiple levels. So there's the very surface-level behavior, but then these run deeper than you would ever imagine.

First up, over-responsibility. You want everyone to have a good day. You feel like you have to hold it together; you're keeping the peace, navigating family dynamics, office politics, all the things. You feel so responsible for everyone else's joy that you forget how to create any for yourself.

Next up, overthinking. That's right. One that happens all year round, but at this time of year, when you up the mental load and the life admin of all the Christmas stuff, of all the planning, of all the prepping, you're probably thinking about the holiday, trying to work out where you can find space for yourself, trying to plan your way into peace because you know that you need a break and you know it's the only thing probably keeping you going right now.

And lastly, overfunctioning. It's like there is this mystical deadline of Christmas or December 31 when the world ends and all of these things have to get done. Yes, Santa is coming. Unlike the Tooth Fairy, he probably can't get delayed by high winds and rain, so you don't get another do-over if you miss it. But what are your priorities? How do you stop this overfunctioning muscle absolutely cranking into gear and causing more exhaustion and exposing any patterns that you've had all year round?

Believe it or not, even though they might sound like it, these aren't flaws. These are protective codes, very much old wiring that once kept you safe. And so many women are stuck in these three over-patterns: the over-responsibility, the overthinking, and the overfunctioning. But the belief is that they can continue to overwork and overthink and then be over-responsible for everyone else; that if they just double down on these things, then there's a magical rainbow at the end where they won't worry about everyone else's happiness or feelings, where they won't get stuck in their heads permanently, and when they will suddenly give themselves permission to rest. It's not going to happen.

The cost of these three patterns that are running in overdrive is you arrive at the end of the year - if you are not already there - exhausted, resentful, and already feeling behind before the next year begins. Desperate for that holiday and wishing, hoping, living on a prayer that next year will be different. But if you're still the same and these survival patterns are still running in the show, is next year gonna really be that much different? Unfortunately, you know the answer is no.

You've probably been saying to yourself, "Oh yeah, this isn't sustainable, but let me get through the year, I'll get through to Christmas and then I'll reset." "I'll have a break, I'll have some time to think about what I need to shift, what I need to change." But you're always looking outside of yourself. You're looking at schedules, you're looking at calendars, you're looking at meal plans, you're looking at hormone therapy, you're looking at all these things, thinking that that is the magic pill that is going to make you feel better. When I can categorically tell you it doesn't work.

Let me share what most people miss about December, and this is that it's not just busy, but it's leaky. Our energy seeps out everywhere. We leak it into other people's needs—hello, worrying if they're having a good day. We leak it into overthinking about everyone. And we leak it into doing endlessly of that crazy list, just like Santa's. You've got to check it twice, but 50,000 times, instead of actually being.

Ultimately, your energy belongs to everything and everyone except you. It feels like this impossible train to stop because there's so much to do and there's people who are relying on your magic, and you tell yourself you're creating foundational memories. This is the one day of the year that the kids are going to remember, so you can't stuff it up. But you're exhausted. And you feel so depleted that you are putting so much weight on a so-called reset after Christmas, just sliding into December 25 and hoping by some miracle by January 1st you feel better. That a few days to sleep, to eat what you want, to indulge, is suddenly gonna make everything better.

There's a famous saying: wherever you go, there you are. And this couldn't be more true than December. The advice that you usually hear at this time of year is always about saying no, just put up a boundary, that will stop all the leaks. But if you haven't done the deeper work that will stop these survival patterns running in their tracks, it's not gonna work. Because your whole reason for being is to please others, is to prove that you can, is to protect yourself. And so this wiring will continue to kick in regardless of how hard you try, of how much willpower you have, or even of how many external boundaries and time blocking and “I'm leaving the office at five today” you try to convince yourself.

Too many women double down on, well, I'm gonna have to leave work early today because now you've got school holidays to contend with, now you've got Christmas shopping to do. But that's just adding more and more to your load.

This is why I have created something a little different this year that is going to completely change how you move through this season. I am about to run a live session—and cover anyone's little ears around because this is how it is—How the fuck do I survive December? We are going to run what I call a boundary recalibration. We are going to plug the leaks, not from a control, discipline, or willpower perspective or sheer grunt or collapse, but we're going to help you learn what your energy actually needs.

I'm going to show you why your body doesn't trust rest and how to change that. How to spot your December over-pattern—one of those three, if not all of them—the moment it starts. And the single question that can stop the spiral in real time. This is going to help you see why that longed-for holiday that you've been hanging for all year, whether it's a staycation or you're going somewhere fun and exciting, why it doesn't even touch the sides. And that without these skills, you're destined to be sitting back at work in February wondering what the fuck just happened and how are you here again?

You are meant to be rested. This is why so many women try to set New Year's resolutions and by the end of January, that's it. They're done. There is nothing left in the tank. And now they're heaving themselves another 11 months until the end of the year when they can reset.

I don't want to give away all of this here because this isn't a conversation; it's an experience. You're probably an overthinker, but spoiler alert, you can't think your way out of this one. Trust me, I've tried. You have to feel it.

So if you can already feel yourself bracing for the chaos, whether it's the concerts, the dancing, the deadlines, the family dynamics, then come and join me. It's 90 minutes live on Zoom on Wednesday, the 10th of December at 12:30 p.m. Sydney time. This is going to be part practical toolkit, part energetic reset, and very much a soul-anchored survival guide for women who've mastered getting through and are ready to finish this year without losing their shit or themselves.

And even better, it's just $27. And yes, before you ask, there you will get the replay. The link will be in the show notes, or you can head to balanceinstitute.com forward slash SOS and save your seat. Because you don't need another holiday; you need new wiring for December.