Balance & Beyond Podcast

 BALANCE & BEYOND IS BACK FOR 2026 - JOIN THE 9TH MARCH INTAKE!

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Ever felt your brilliant mind switch on while your voice shakes and your body pulls back?

Don't forget to sing up for the Anchored workshop at https://www.balanceinstitute.com/anchored by March 6th!

We go straight to the gap between what you know and what you can embody under pressure, unpacking why logic stalls when your nervous system doesn’t feel safe and how to rebuild confidence from the inside out. With somatic coach Jaclyn, we chart the limits of a head-led operating system and show how emotional and social safety drive presence, influence, and sustainable performance.

Across this conversation, we map the difference between physical safety and the subtler realms of social threat that shape tone, timing, and truth-telling in the room. We dig into self-worth as the root of real confidence, explore how perfectionism and over-responsibility show up as somatic signatures, and outline simple practices that bring your system back online: orienting, breath, grounding, and naming sensation. You’ll hear why awareness and therapy insights often fail to shift behaviour and why nervous system change only sticks through felt experience, repetition, and co-regulation with other humans.

We also introduce Anchored, our six-week live, embodied program designed for self-aware women who are done trying to outthink their patterns. If you’re ready to partner your sharp intellect with a regulated body, make faster aligned decisions, and speak with steadiness when it counts, this one’s for you. Expect practical tools, real-time practice, and a supportive group that helps you hold your centre while the stakes rise.

Listen now, share it with a woman who needs the reminder that her body is an ally, and if the conversation sparks something, check the show notes for Anchored or book a call with our team to find your right next step. If this resonated, subscribe, share, and leave a review so more women can find their way back to themselves.

Episode Transcript

INTRO: Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for women who've outgrown the old model of success. The ones who look fine on the outside but know the way they've been living no longer fits. If you're standing in the space between who you were and who you're becoming, this is for you. I honour the space you've created today. Let's dive in!

Jo Stone (Host)

For a long, long time, we have been rewarded for living in our heads. We're intelligent, we're capable, we think things through. But what if the thing that got us here and got a lot of our success is actually working against us? Jacqueline joins me today. Jacqueline, big, big question.

Jaclyn (Guest)

Yeah, I'm so happy to be here. I love this topic, these considerations about living in our head and what that even means and what else is possible if we're not living in our head, then hopefully we're living in our bodies. This is a powerful and important conversation.

Jo Stone (Host)

So let's talk, Jaclyn, about our head-led operating system. What is it? Because many women may not even realize that the way they've been functioning is somewhat one-dimensional.

Jaclyn (Guest)

Yeah, essentially utilizing your intellect is the only option. So your intellect is logic-based, it's assessing, it's judging, analyzing. Everyone's starting to realize that it has its limits and it's worth exploring. Are there other intelligences within us as human beings besides our intellect that we can ally with and learn how to use skillfully to create success at work in our relationships? Can we use other parts of ourselves to create success?

Jo Stone (Host)

And it's interesting how we're heading into an era where there's more information than ever and more stuff to figure out. And now with a click of a button, you can get all kinds of analysis. We're seeing now AI can actually outthink us. And what if our intelligence that we've prided ourselves on has stopped becoming our differentiator? It's stopped being our advantage.

And what we're seeing is this trend where so many women are trying to, as you said, think their way out, think faster, think harder, and it's just driving more and more depletion.

The irony that I've had to sit with, and many of our clients do, is almost the smarter you are, the more likely you are to overuse the system because it's been such an important part of who you are and such an important part of your success. So, Jaclyn, how does our brains, our heads, how does this fail under pressure or even uncertainty?

Jaclyn (Guest)

Well, some things can't be figured out at the intellectual level. There are some questions you can see all points of view, but do you have any peace? Do you have any power? Or are you at the effect of the mental worrying machine?

So when you're under pressure, you might just see patterns, but feel frozen in your body. So you can't actually execute and do something differently. The mind is trying to create certainty. And no matter how hard we think about it, it doesn't make a difference.

Jo Stone (Host)

So we're trying to rely on our heads in all this uncertainty, trying to figure it out, but we can't. What role is our nervous system playing in all of this? And how does the body work? Because it's so much buzz now about the nervous system and it's everywhere. But what is it in a way that a head-based woman can understand without going into too much science?

Jaclyn (Guest)

Well, the nervous system is most interested in safety. So that can be in direct conflict with what the mind or intellect might be aware of. So if you're at work and you're in the boardroom and your mind knows that you are going to be up in a few minutes, you're up to make your suggestions, adjustments, ask questions.

So your brain knows what you are meant to do. You might feel like you're at war with your body because then when it comes time to speak, all of a sudden you forget what you're meant to say, even though you know what to say. So you pull back on a suggestion you're going to make to the team, and then you couch it and you sugarcoat it. And you might be seeing yourself doing it.

"Why am I sugarcoating this when I was what where's that coming from?" It's coming from your body, and your body is prioritizing safety. And so your body is saying, I don't feel safe enough to say the thing in that bold fashion that I know I want to do. When if you just freeze, your body's saying, "I don't feel safe enough to even exist in this room." "I don't feel safe enough here."

So even if you know you belong in the room and your intellect, logically, your body might argue with you. And so it ultimately, if you don't start bringing attention to what creates safety in your nervous system, it will sabotage, if you want to use that word, even your best efforts. Bummer. But that's what we're here for to help people with that.

Jo Stone (Host)

And isn't it interesting? We use the word safety. I remember when I first started hearing this nervous system talk. I go, what do you mean? Of course I'm safe. I'm in a boardroom on the 27th floor of a building in a city. We have to clarify what safety actually means in this sense because our logical brain goes, that's stupid. What's going on?

Jaclyn (Guest)

We would hope that in most places we physically feel safe. We're talking more about emotional safety and social safety. There are atmospheres at work that can feel threatening. And then that always points to what you think you deserve and wanting external validation. "Am I approved of by my peers?" "Do I belong here?" I mentioned that earlier. "Am I worthy?"

And those are more, they all tie to inherent worthiness issues, which is different than does this atmosphere feel safe for me? It's more internal. Do I believe I belong here and that I have something valuable to give just because I exist? Which is a really powerful question. And again, one of the most powerful fundamental inquiries we help women with.

Jo Stone (Host)

Yeah, yeah. And that ancient part of our brain. I've got this position, I've got this title, I'm fine. And even if you think you're okay, if your voice wobbles in time, that's your body, that's not your mind. There are all the ways that we are overriding ourselves.

And it trips people up a lot because they get so frustrated. "I've got this title, but I don't feel like I deserve it." "I go to talk and nobody hears me." "I'm circling my thoughts and can't ever actually say the thing." "And then when I practice it myself, it sounds amazing." "But then when I get into the room, I freeze and the wrong words come out."

These are all really powerful examples of where your nervous system is overriding your intellect and its consequences are significant. They're not to be ignored, are they?

Jaclyn (Guest)

Yeah, certainly. If you are looking to really step into your leadership to receive a promotion, to really have influence, assuming you're passionate about what you do and you really want to have legacy that requires someone who's able to be in a room that can feel like there's a lot of dynamics in the space and still remain anchored.

It always fundamentally goes back to your sense of self-worth. So a lot of people talk about, oh, I just wish I felt more confident. And trying to do all the external things to be confident can be helpful. Sometimes you fake it till you make it, and it has its place.

Ultimately, confidence is actually just a natural result of really healthy self-conviction, really healthy self-worth. So they're not afraid of making mistakes in front of people. They're not looking for external validation because they have an inherent sense of safety, right?

"I can be with anything, I can be with this room if they don't like what I have to say." "I can make a mistake or say I don't know something and I don't make that mean that I'm inadequate", right?

Jo Stone (Host)

And that's where words like unstoppable start to come out, isn't it? Because you've now got this balance of you've got your head and your intelligence and your capacity and all those things, and it's playing ball with your nervous system.

So the two now working with each other instead of against each other, which is what's happening for most women. They feel like their body betrays them or they feel like something goes wrong and they can't outthink their way into their body, which is the most frustrating thing for someone in their head, is it?

Jaclyn (Guest)

Yes. And once you start learning about all these pieces, ironically, you can get really good at recognizing your patterns. That intellectual brain will start seeing, oh my gosh, there I am. I'm doing the freeze. You can start to see the patterns and understand your patterns and why your patterns are happening. And so at the end of the day, the awareness isn't enough.

You have to go a step beyond that and then practice the skills in real time. And that's where you need other human beings because this can only be done in relationship. You can do some practicing of create internal safety solo and the pedal hits the metal when you're with other humans, because then the stakes are higher and there's more dynamics to deal with.

We need other people to practice this with, hence why we do this work in the world in a group format. And we're mentors, so we get to be the role models of what it looks like for a woman to stay in her body, even if they're feeling a lot of high sensation or nervous system activation.

Jo Stone (Host)

So, what then, instead of being at war with our bodies and instead of trying to override our nervous systems with brute force or control them with God knows what? Talk to us about this nervous system as another form of intelligence.

Because I know, certainly speaking of my personal journey, I was incredibly head-based. I didn't really place any value in my body. I'd shut off all of the ways that my body could talk to me. I'd realize, oh my gosh, I haven't emptied myself.

I haven't been to the loo in six hours because I'd disconnected from anything below the neck, didn't put any importance on it, didn't put any value on it, and certainly didn't receive any signals through my vegas nerve. And so how do we start to see this as another form of intelligence instead of something that we have to battle?

Jaclyn (Guest)

I think if you can have them cooperating so that they're serving one another, like the intellect serves, "Oh, I have to give up one for the other", I think that's a misnomer.

So I think just looking at listening to your body or your nervous system isn't going to detract from this powerful intellect that you have so much confidence in. I think that's the nervousness unconsciously for people. If I start listening to other parts of my wisdom, my nervous system, does that mean I'm gonna stop being smart? That gets me to wonderful places.

Yeah, certainly not that they're not at odds. I think they really do want to support one another. It's pretty incredible what can happen when they're connected. So, what is available when you are connected to your body? It's fascinating that if we just live in our heads, essentially we're treating ourselves as a computer.

And it dehumanizes us. And for a couple hours, that's fine if we want to operate as a computer because we're getting stuff done that's meaningful and we need our intellect to uh create big change in the world.

But what about who I am as a woman, not just who I am as a professional? I think we get so connected to this identity of who I am as a professional and the change I'm making in the world. But can we include the woman in you? Her body wants to move, maybe go out in some fresh air and just feel her feet on the ground, feel her lungs expanding, feeling in the endorphins running through her system. It's like we compartmentalize that.

Like we do the 20-minute workout and then we're a computer again. But what if we could weave our sensuality and our aliveness into our everyday? Everyone can decide what that looks like.

Jo Stone (Host)

There's a few things that I've unlocked as part of really reconnecting or getting alignment with my head and my body. These are things that no one ever told me were possible because so much of this nervous system work is, it can be sometimes a little floaty, it can sound a little hippie, it can sound a little bit woo.

But for me, what I have loved is I can now, because I'm tapped into my body, I can now tell when I'm pushing myself through fear versus pushing myself out of, say, motivation or fun or love. I can now work out when a decision is aligned for me, as in "I'm a yes for this", versus, "Oh, actually, I'm a no."

My head goes, "But you should do it, you've got the time to do it, you should really want to do it, what's wrong with you?" But my body goes, "I'm a no." And it's allowed my brain to stand down on so many levels and those decisions that sometimes can tear you up in knots, and there's six different scenarios.

But actually, what is true for me in this moment is X. Over time, as you become more and more familiar with your patterns and you do this more than just intellectually, you start to work out where these patterns land in your body.

So, as an example, over-responsibility is a long-standing, well-entrenched pattern of mine. And it has a certain somatic feel to it when I pick up someone else's stuff, whether it's the school bag that I'm resentfully shoving into a teenager's room, or it's somebody else's emotions, or I now know that actually, as well as being something that I can default to because it's so entrenched and we care and we love people and we don't want to hurt them, I can now recognize that symbol.

And it's like this fast track for, "Oh, okay, I'm carrying too much that's not mine." And then I can call on all my strategies and actually put it down. So it gives me choice and it makes me feel so much more empowered. It short circuits so many decisions and has really allowed me to move faster, ironically, in the world by turning down my head.

Jaclyn (Guest)

I'm like, don't you just want to feel good in your day? And you're like, and there's practical things too, Jacqueline.

Jo Stone (Host)

So exhibit A of Jaclyn, who spends a lot of her life in her body and is a somatic coach, and Jo, who has spent her life in her head and took understanding the ROI of getting in alignment with my body to actually be willing to do it.

So whether you're like Jaclyn, like "I just want to feel joy and love", like me going, "Give me the ROI and the benefit of actually doing the work of feeling my bloody feelings because I don't want to." Okay, maybe you're somewhere in between. But between the two of us, you've ideally learned something out of this.

So, Jaclyn, one last question for you. We can know these patterns, we can see them, we can now start to learn to hold them. How come knowing the pattern isn't just enough? Because we're intelligent. We can see it, we've probably done therapy, we know this comes from childhood, and we can write an essay on it, and it still doesn't bloody well stop. What's going on there?

Jaclyn (Guest)

Yeah, I think this one just can be simply said nervous system change happens at the nervous system level, not at the intellectual level. Like conflict or lack of safety. That's just not how it works. Yeah, absolutely.

Jo Stone (Host)

So, Jaclyn, we are seeing this growing demand, aren't we, for women who are looking for support to really cultivate this internal stability, to open up another side of their wisdom. And it isn't something that you can read about. It needs to actually be felt and experienced.

So you can go to Chat GPT and say, tell me how to cultivate safety in my nervous system. But if you don't have another human sitting across from you who is helping you co-regulate, who is helping your nervous system anchor, then it's not going to work, is it?

Jaclyn (Guest)

Yeah, because I'm a somatic coach, I guess I can ask it if I want that kind of mindset shift or reminder or a quick perspective adjustment or reframe, or even here try this somatic exercise. And that's great. You can practice it solo and know what it feels like to create safety in your body. But we don't live in silos, right?

Otherwise, that would be enough. But we live in relationship. We're always in relationship. So if you want to really develop skills in your nervous system to create that safety to have power in any moment, then you need to practice it with people. That's just the way it works. And so ChatGPT cannot substitute for a human, at least not yet.

Jo Stone (Host)

So not yet. Watch this space. And so this is exactly what we've developed a brand new program called Anchored For. So it's for those women who are already self-aware, they're no longer feeling like they're in burnout, they can see their patterns, they've had the tools, they know what they need to be doing, but their nervous system is still running the show.

So this program is specifically about increasing your nervous system capacity, teaching you how to stay calm under pressure, really interrupting those patterns at a body level. It's not about exploring where does my perfectionist come from or why do I feel this way.

We have other containers for that. This is about that real felt experience and practice of help me build these tools to cultivate safety. Because safety will not come while you're still in survival mode. If you are feeling burnt out, if you're feeling like you're not in control of your life, if you feel like you're about to blow it up and do something that you can't even see the patterns or you don't know how deep they run, then other containers we have are going to be the best for you.

But this is for the woman who wants to learn to regulate. She's understood some of this work, maybe she's dabbled a little bit, but she now is ready to unlock this other side of intelligence, to stop living in her head and to really practice. So it's six weeks of live embodied calls. Key word here, this is about felt experience and practice. And we start December 6th. Jacqueline, what are you most excited about with Anchored?

Jaclyn (Guest)

I think it's uh practicing in real time because the shifts are palpable and they're what makes a difference. So I get most excited about that.

Jo Stone (Host)

So this is not about doing more. This is not about reinforcing your mind. This is really about teaching you or giving you the capacity to lead what already exists. So you'll find details in the show notes, or you can also book in a call if you want to talk to our team about what the right container for you for right now. So thanks for joining me today, Jacqueline.

Jaclyn (Guest)

I'm so glad. I love this conversation. Always here for it.